entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
