maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
