but the lizard people decide everything anyway
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
