whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
