Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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