operation have a gay friend backfired
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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