I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
