I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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