i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
