i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
