He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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