Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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