So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
