I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I know her cup size but not her name....
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