if i can run in heels then i can drive
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
