1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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