Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
