I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
