If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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