i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
