Your tits are I can't wait for
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
