I wanna passion pit in your ass
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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