i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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