Sry I called you an 8
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
