it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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