He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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