Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
it was like eating out sand paper
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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