the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's official drugs can't kill me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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