tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
