We're like a lot better than the average bears
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
