Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
