Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
there is glitter all over my balls
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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