I cut my penus on the lid.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
