I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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