Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
