I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
