I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This can only be settled by a dance off.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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