My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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