We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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