I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
