can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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