we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
