it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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