Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
