Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Randomize
