didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
