if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
