so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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