I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sorry about my life...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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