He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
